12.望洞庭
湖光秋月两相和,潭面无风镜未磨。
遥望洞庭山水色,白银盘里一青螺。
中文解读
《望洞庭》是刘禹锡创作的一首诗。此诗描写了秋夜月光下洞庭湖的优美景色,表达了诗人对洞庭风光的喜爱和赞美之情,表现了诗人壮阔不凡的气度和高卓清奇的情致。
首句描写澄澈空明的湖水与素月青光交相辉映,俨如琼田玉鉴,是一派空灵、缥缈、宁静、和谐的境界,表现出天水一色,玉宇无尘的融和画面。
第二句描绘湖上无风,迷迷蒙蒙的湖面宛如未经磨拭的铜镜。“镜未磨”三字十分形象贴切地表现了千里洞庭风平浪静和安宁温柔的景象,以及在月光下别具一格的朦胧美。
第三、四句诗人的视线从湖光月色的整体画面集中到君山一点。在皓月银辉之下,洞庭山愈显青翠,洞庭水愈显清澈,山水浑然一体,望去如同在一只雕镂剔透的银盘里放了一颗小巧玲珑的青螺,十分惹人喜爱。“白银盘里一青螺”,真是匪夷所思的妙句,极富浪漫色彩。
白话译文
洞庭湖上月光和水色交相融合,湖面风平浪静如同未磨的铜镜。
远远眺望洞庭湖山水苍翠如墨,好似洁白银盘里托着一枚青螺。
英译一
Lake Dongting Viewed from Afar
Translated by Xu Yuanchong
The autumn moon dissolves in soft light of the lake,
Unruffled surface like unpolished mirror bright.
Afar, the isle amid water clear without a break,
Looks like a spiral shell in a plate silver white.
(dissolve v.溶解;融化 unruffled adj.平静的,无风的spiral adj.螺旋形的)
英译二
Looking at the Dongting Lake
Translated by Zhao Yanchun
The lake light and autumn moon fairly sheen,
No wind on the pool, the mirror's coarsely made.
Afar, Dongting's hills and waters look green,
Upon the silver plate a dark snail's laid.
(sheen adj.有光泽的coarsely adv.粗糙地)
英译欣赏
In the eyes of Liu Yuxi, the scenery of Lake Dongting in moonlight was so quiet, charming and even romantic. Everything around and in the lake is so harmonious and inspring. The hills amid the clear water were just like a spiral shell in a silver white plate, which is so imaginative and poetic to readers all the time.
所选为北京大学许渊冲教授和天津外国语大学赵彦春教授的译文,均按格律诗韵译。许教授认为“翻译应该尽可能选用最好的译语表达方式”。英译一就是很好的诠释。
The autumn moon dissolves in soft light of the lake,用dissolve in 表示“和”,正是将the autumn moon 与soft light of the lake相融为一体最好的表达。英文是喜欢用名词来表达的语言,比如:他篮球打得好。英文习惯表达为:He is a good basketball player。
Unruffled surface like unpolished mirror bright,故“潭面无风”没有直译,而是译为unruffled surface(无风的湖面); “镜未磨”译为unpolished mirror(未磨的镜子)。这句省略倒装了,应是:Unruffled surface is like bright unpolished mirror。
后两句是一句整体英文,需要整体欣赏:Afar, the isle amid water clear without a break, Looks like a spiral shell in a plate silver white,清澈水中的小山,远远看上去像白色银盘中的一个螺。
译文忠实原诗,语言地道,形象生动,且采用abab押韵格式,读起来朗朗上口。
英译二对原诗的翻译采用浅化意译的方法,字数精练,语言简洁,也采用abab押韵格式,另有一番风韵。The lake light and autumn moon fairly sheen,没有译“和”,而是译为省略的对比句,应是:The lake is light and autumn moon is fairly sheen。
第二句:No wind on the pool, the mirror's coarsely made,这里将潭面译成the pool,意思有点清浅,“未磨”译为coarsely made 似乎有点不准确。整句应是:There is no wind on the pool, and mirror's coarsely made。
后两句:Afar, Dongting's hills and waters look green, Upon the silver plate a dark snail's laid。“洞庭”为简洁按拼音翻译,对外国读者需要注释。最后一句倒装,应为:Afar, Dongting's hills and waters look green, A dark snail's laid upon the silver plate。一只深色的蜗牛放在白色的盘子里。译者将“青螺”译为dark snail(深色的蜗牛)似乎另辟蹊径,别有风味。
思考
《望洞庭》的“望”,译为look afar还是look into更好,二者含义有什么区别?